The Blessing is in What Remains

This afternoon, I held my walkie-talkie in one hand and my phone in another. With dreams of Friday afternoon on my mind, I counted the minutes down before I could leave work. The vans taking students to neighboring after care centers all seemed late today, so I continued to pace the floor and to listen for the call when students could go home. After pacing the floor for some time, I found my way to the table to sit with "George". George looked up at me, smiled and told me he was looking forward to the weekend too.

I met George the first day of school. Since then, he has smiled at me every day. He hugs me wherever he sees me in the school and is sure to tell me goodbye as he leaves. As I sat with George today, I realized that our conversation was no chance encounter, but a carefully orchestrated meeting by God, and a chance to celebrate someone's blessing.

I smiled at George and asked, "What are you looking forward to doing this weekend?

George replied, "My birthday is on Sunday. I will be 8 years old"

My heart stopped. And then I smiled. And then I silently celebrated and praised God for the chance to meet a child born on the same day as my daughter who was born asleep.

My life changed on September 21, 2011 when I learned that Sanae had died in utero at 23 weeks gestation. On the morning of September 22, 2011, I delivered a small one pound, 12 inch baby. I remember that time as dark, and lonely and sad and painful. Why would God give and take away? Even to this day, I remember her as one of my children. she is gone, but she is with me. I keep her hand prints and footprints on my night stand and my children speak often of their other sister who was born asleep, but who they love nonetheless.

I sat with George, listening to him tell me how all of his siblings had the same first initial. Listening to him tell me that he was looking forward to going to Sky Zone to celebrate his birthday with his family.

I silently said a prayer for him. A prayer of thanksgiving that he is here. That he took his first breath and so many afterwards. I prayed for him and asked God to bless this little guy.

The Lord gives and He takes away. This truth is terrifying and real and hard to take. But, blessed be His name anyway. The pain of what we lose can sometimes take us all the way down. But let me invite you to look at all that remains. Thank God for those who are here and who are a shining example of his life giving power and His grace.

I lost a daughter on September 22, 2011, but God gave me another on December 18, 2012. Her name is Faith!

My God is a wonderful, graceful God. I will not stay in the sadness of what was lost, but I will forever rejoice in all that remains. I will rejoice for myself and for others.

Be Blessed!