As I am writing this article, I am thinking of the many friends I have who are single dads. Exceptional single dads. They may not be able to wake up every morning and make breakfast, or tuck their children in every night, but they face so many challenges unique to their role.
Some men became single dads because of the death of a spouse, or the death of a marriage. Some were faced with raising their kids alone when the mother of the children walked away. Some share custody 50/50 with the mothers of their children. Some work so much and so hard, that they can only see their children when they come back in town, or when they are off the clock. Some are using all of their financial resources to fight for a chance to have a place in their children's lives.
Our families today look very different from what so many of us remember growing up. Today, more than ever, children need their fathers. Their relationship with their dad teaches them so much about their own identity, and so much about the world. Kids watch their dads as they learn how to carry themselves and how to deal with challenges. In our society that trades love for hate, and money for time, we sometimes forget the real treasures in our lives.
I am a single mom. Those of you who read my blog know that and have a had a chance to get a glimpse into my life. But I don't know if I could be a single father. (I'm obviously speaking of the PRESENT single father. The emotionally available, tuned in, caring, single father.) I see my children most days. I laugh with them, help them with homework, cook for them and play with them. I get to watch them hit milestones.
It must be tough to see your children part time, or not at all. It must be tough to not be given the benefit of the doubt in the eyes of the law. It must be heartbreaking wanting more for your child and with your child and having to navigate a sea of red tape to get to even a fraction of what you have dreamed. For those of you raising your children independently, I know it's tough! You are tired too! You get discouraged too!
So to you, single father. I say don't give up. Those little ones need you, love you and see you. They want to be you and walk like you and talk like you. They love their mothers, but there is no replacement for their fathers. So, on this Father's Day, know that you are important valued and celebrated.
Happy Father's Day!