“Everything you need is already inside.” ― Bill Bowerman
Samara. Teacher. Singer. Creative dabbler.
I remember the moment I decided to file for divorce. I was terrified of raising three kids alone. I was fed up and I was depressed, but one of the things that scared me the most was the financial side of moving forward without a partner.
I remember sitting in my living room, mind racing, as I decided to return to teaching after a short break. How would I get the kids to school? Where would I work? How could I finish my research for my terminal degree? I called Chip, my friend and manager of Atlanta Beat and asked for my old job back, and there, in my living room, the day after Memorial Day 2015, I made the plans that have helped to sustain me for the past three years.
I want to talk to you about a new mindset. This mindset is a shift in how so many of us as women have operated for too long. For generations, we have done the best we could do and that was our narrative. We were given lemons and we made lemonade. But what if someone gave us lemons and we made lemonade, lemon cake, lemon-head candies and lemon pepper wings? lol
What if we took a bad situation and used it as a place to catapult ourselves into a new definition of family, life, love, peace, joy and success? This new mindset is to take care of yourself, using every thing and every thought and every resource inside of you and at your fingertips. This mindset is a shift from waiting for the child support check to clear in order plan fun activities for your kids. It is a moving away from an argumentative relationship with your ex to truth telling, peacemaking, not responding to every text or email or potential drama, and holding yourself to high expectations. And while I am not suggesting that you ever relieve your ex of their financial or parental responsibilities, you get to the place where you look at your little family and you take full responsibility for you and for them.
Taking care means organizing your life so that you can be your best self for you and for them. Evaluating your skill sets, your gifts and talents. What can you do to take care of your family? In my case, I can teach and I can do it well. My focus on my teaching craft will allow my career opportunities and earning potential to increase. In addition to that, I can sing, and I will sing on any microphone that will have me as long as it comes with a check. I have been doing my own hair for years, and I just recently realized that I can do hair for other people too!
Cha-ching!
So in the process of creating a new life, the answer is inside of you. So go ahead and teach, write, paint, design, sell, invest, collaborate, etc! You've got what it takes to live the life you have always wanted!
Take care of yourself, your children, and your life!!