Happy Mother's Day!

The best and hardest job I have ever had was and is being a mom. I remember when my water broke at 2 am on March 23rd 2005. I was excited and scared to death. I remember that morning. The excitement. Grab the hospital bag. Let the dog out. Call my mom. When my former husband and I got to the hospital we were so overwhelmed, that for a few minutes we couldn't find the entrance!! After being admitted, my crazy self handed my Certified Nurse Midwife a birth plan that requested that I not be offered any drugs. That was so stupid lol! So there I was for the first time, dealing with labor pain. I had no idea what I was about to encounter. All the classes and the breathing exercises went out the door.

I labored for 15 1/2 hours before Mekai was born. And somewhere around hour number 7 I begged for drugs and swore to never have another baby again. After a rough labor, and 20 minutes of pushing, I became a mom.

Life since that eventful day has been a roller coaster. I have since added 2 children to the team and subtracted a husband, but what has remained constant, is that so much of this journey, as difficult and unpredictable as it can be, has been unbelievably beautiful. There are still moments I feel as unprepared as I did the night I went into labor. So many fears, and what ifs. There is so much to worry about. There is so much that makes me anxious. But the joy that these children have given me over the years has not been matched by anything else.

Being a mom is what I believe God wrote into my story to teach me some life lessons and to keep me close to Him. Had I only had myself to worry about, I suppose I would allow myself to get lost in my own mind and my own path. My children have given me three reasons to push myself professionally, personally and spiritually. They have helped me to consider how I impact the world and others and what legacy I want to leave for them. They have made me a dreamer now. I dream for myself and I dream for them too.

I will admit that I am not a TV mom. I am not Claire, or June or even Rosanne. I am Samara. But I'm ok with that. My family is complete, even though it is not the nuclear family. I'm ok with that. My children are all very different from each other and I love that. And considering the sheer miracle of the design of the human body, the difficulty I experienced on the journey to complete my family, and the humility I stand in when I consider that God saw fit to give these little eating machines to me, today on Mother's Day, I stand in this true spirit of gratefulness. What an amazing calling and blessing it is to be a mother.

Happy Mother's Day!